On Speaking Up: I didn't Know that "no" was an option

When I was a young girl, I didn't know I had a say in whether boys touched me or not.

if you let them, they'd like you and if you said no, they'd tell everyone bad things about you- so it seemed easier and better to accept it and move on.

And because of that, I ended up in some seriously painful, terrifying experiences- like being cornered in an attic or taken to a remote place where no one knew where I was... and accepting it because it was the only way I knew to survive.

But the thing is, it was never better to accept it, because each time I said ok, I went further into the hole of low self worth, low self esteem and no personal value.

And I know I'm not alone.

It took me years to understand why I felt so worthless and I kept getting hurt when I was a really sweet, loving person inside.

But seriously, no one ever told me I had a choice. No one said you're worth more than just sex. No one said, you can say no and still be loved and accepted. No one said instead of letting someone abuse you or assault you- SPEAK UP.

My heart goes out to the women sharing their stories now at the hands of people like Weinstein and other people in power.

And may I say that I personally am moved and honored to have the gift of being who I am to speak to this now as a woman who understands it and has lived it too.

I used to hide it because I was too ashamed to let people know I did it and it happened, but now I know the only way to shift out of this pattern is to bring it to the light.

I know that together we can shift this, one voice at a time.

Thank you to ALL who are speaking the truth now. It takes courage and it takes heart.