Breaking DOWN Rape Culture

What happens when we pull back the curtain and open a dialogue?

We are currently surrounded by #metoo stories and an endless cycle of women coming forward regarding sexual misconduct, verbal and physical assault and systemic behavioral patterns that are making waves and shaking things up. 

What we have here is not an isolated problem. Our society is SICK and we are currently facing societal and cultural patterns that have been deemed acceptable for too long. 

We're discovering that much of this horrifying behavior and destructive patterns have been with us so long we've forgotten they're not "NORMAL" and because of it, we've lost track of what RAPE CULTURE really is. 

I saw this pyramid posted on social media today and I wanted to speak to it-- because it does hold the key to so much of what we are trying so desperately to solve. (UPDATE, it came to my attention that this is an outdated, uncredited version of the image-- PLEASE SEE HERE THE MOST CURRENT IMAGE AND THE CREATORS WHO DID AN AMAZING JOB! and support them online HERE)

OUTDATED/ORIGINAL POST THIS BLOG WAS CREATED ON: THIS PYRAMID SAYS SO MUCH. LET'S TAKE A CLOSER LOOK: 

1) notice the colors: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW---- Root Chakra, Sacral Chakra, Solar plexus Chakra

What this says to me is that all of these patterns are affecting our ability to root down, be present, celebrate our creative energy and give birth to a new consciousness. It affects our self-esteem, our self-expression and our ability to EMBODY our worth which, if we actually understood it, could help us blow this pattern right out of existence.

Part of the issue with all of this is exactly that: we are so lacking in self-worth that as a whole, both men and women, we don't understand how valuable one another are and we can't see beyond the "body" as a sexual object and we also don't know how to say NO when someone devalues us because we are so attached to being accepted and pleasing one another nor do we understand that we don't need to "take" what isn't ours.

2) notice where the line is between abuse and assault

What this says to me is that ABUSE (if you notice what's in those boxes) are under the radar and under the surface as they've become ingrained in our society, our beliefs and our behaviors. It's the type of stuff we're "accustomed to now" and have learned to just accept as "the way it is" and its so deeply rooted in the subconscious of society we don't even notice it anymore.

We are only now realizing it's been happening for too long and it NEEDS TO STOP.

3) VICTIMIZATION is on the bottom, and thus the foundation for ALL of this

What this means is that if we want to address what's happening at the TOP, we've got to start by looking at the BOTTOM as in where it begins.

The things that are in victimization are all things that have happened to me - even as young as 4th grade. And I know they've happened to you too.

If you're not sure what I mean, I invite you to remember how you were introduced to sexuality growing up and what you were taught as a young adult.  

Were you taught to respect your body and other's bodies? Or were you taught that letting people touch you or touching others is ok?  

Were you given tools to know how to speak kindly to others or did you use language you saw on TV? 

Were you told that "you want boys to like you"? Or you were you taught to like yourself first... 

These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the ways we each personally are exposed to and play a role in victimization and if we want to shift it out and dismantle where we are currently stuck-- starting HERE at the bottom is the perfect place to begin. 

In the words of OPRAH, #timesup. And I say we begin breaking down this pyramid brick by brick. I'm in. Are YOU? 

So what can you do to help break down rape culture and create a more loving world? 

1) Talk about it  - if there's one thing we know it's that if we don't talk about what's going on and our pain it never gets dealt with so even though it might sting a little, the conversations must happen we can collectively find some answers 

2) Own it- for too long it's been so easy to sweep our painful experiences under the rug and try to hide them and push them down, but when we do that we create even more secrets and diversions. By owning our stories and our past we CAN and ARE healing this painful pattern 

3) Get support- whether you do it 1:1 or in a circle of loved ones, we each deserve to be held in a space of love and when we allow ourselves to receive and be in supportive environments we do begin to heal.  It might feel uncomfortable at first but one you rip off the band aid your heart will thank you for it. 

4) Be aware- awareness is the first step in creating change so pay attention to what you see on TV and in social media, watch how people are treating one another and you will begin to spot within yourself and others all the ways you can personally help us change this cycle for good. 

Got a thought, a story or something to share? Be sure to leave a comment so we can keep this seriously important dialogue going AND join my love-filled newsletter for weekly doses of #breakingfreedaily!

PS: Curious about the chakras and how the colors correlate to the pyramid and also how they effect you, your body and your life?  Visit the site full of Juicy Resources! 

PPS: Interested in learning more about how you can change from the BOTTOM UP & see a pyramid in use as a model for LOGICAL CHANGE? Check out this piece of the Logical Levels of Change used in NLP {something I studied and use often with my clients and programs}